Life Lessons From Mean Girls

Hi Muffins!

 

I am ridiculously excited for today because my new found lover face Alexa is here to help me out on my last day of vacation. We initially bonded over the fact that she calls her husband by his name and not "Hubs" but once we discovered our mutual love for mean girls it was all downhill. I'm so happy to get to meet her today! Get it girl...

 

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Hi, y'all! Alexa here from Southern Living, Our Way ~ a blog filled with ridiculous how-to-date-your-husband advice, some blog takeover via mutt, and plenty of shenanigans {just not quite as many as Sami has, obvi.}

While Sami is down Souf living all of my dreams of meeting Gangsta Lene, she asked me to guest post about whatever the hell I wanted! Most bloggers might've said Shenanny Sami was stepping into dangerous territory asking loose-cannon Alexa to guest post about anything on her bloggy blog. But what they don't know is that Sami's and my friendship contains an unspoken clause that Mean Girls must be quoted at least three times per week. This clause provided me the perfect guest post topic! {Also in said clause: On Wednesdays, we wear PINK!}

Things Mean Girls taught me about life

 

Despite what my favorite semi-mullet-headed patriot, Toby Keith, says, red solo cups are not your friend. If you wanna vomit in front of your crush, just be a Southern girl and bring your new boyfriend to meet your dad. Your dad will clean his gun and you will be so upset you might vomit right into the lap of crushy's pressed Polo pants.

 

If your purse ever gets snatched, don't worry ~ a kind stranger will chase after the thief for you, so long as you give him a hint as to where the thief is headed. Head's up: the thief often goes to the projection room above the auditorium, or an equally awkward place where middle-aged, abstinence-preaching gym teachers are gettin' their shenanigans on. Who knew drawstring sweatpants were so popular in China.

If your flow is heavy and you use Super Jumbo tampons, the reputation of your virginity is at stake. Now, depending on what you want your Senior Superlative to be, you have one of two options:

* Throw away the SJ wrappers and put the humongo tamps in a "Regular" wrapper.
Superlative: Most likely to be the next Hilary Clinton 

* Flaunt your SJs and complain constantly about how many pairs of underwear you've gone through that day, and thank Aunt Flo often.
Superlative: Most likely to be the next escort involved in a Capitol Hill scandal.
 

The political choices are yours to make, but choose wisely. Flo's woes will follow you forever.

If you're worried you've been knocked up my your sleezy boyfriend, DON'T GO TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. If Regina is as good of an impersonator as I'm sure she is, PP calls your house and leaves a message with your mom, hinting at the vacancy {or lack thereof} status of her daughter's uterus. How mighty douchey of them.

Things Mean Girls didn't teach me:

I STILL don't know if butter is a freaking carb!

Ummm, no idea, because nobody will tell me which food group it's in.

I mean, LiLo said it was, but she also thinks the Courthouse is a coffee shop you're supposed to galavant into daily. Soooo, there's that.

Yeaaaah, except not.

Stay classy, Shenannies!

 



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Okay seriously I love her. Talk Mean Girls and you have my heart, throw in some Lilo in jail jokes and you're essentially my bloggy soul mate. Thanks Cady Herron Alexa!

Good news ya'll.. I'm back tomorrow. Can't wait to share all about my trip with you bunnies!