I am at that age, in my mid-twenties, when I think a lot about dating. Many women are married and have two kids by now—a boy and a girl, the ideal American family. I am enjoying my life as a single girl, but some dates are more satisfying than others. When you don’t connect with someone after an entire evening together, you feel like you have just wasted your time. After a series of dates that went nowhere, I decided to attend a single’s mixer at a nearby hotel. I heard about it from friends and thought it would be the right crowd. I can’t ever be too sure in advance about what will happen, but you have to take chances now and then. I dressed casually, not knowing what else to do, and put on makeup after I fixed my hair. I looked my best in the hopes of attracting the nicest men. Some guys are so one dimensional and like super short skirts and tank tops. In other words, clothes that are very revealing. I don’t go that route.
I got to the mixer alone as my friend cancelled at the last minute. I prefer to have someone along just in case I want to go home early. We can always salvage a dull evening with a few drinks and snacks. The hotel was nice enough and the party was outside in the back on a patio near a large hot tub for 4 people. As expected, I started with a drink to relax. Some men approached me to talk, but they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. I wasn’t used to this kind of forward behavior. Most guys I date are more polite. This group was about my age and they could be businessmen, doctors, or lawyers for all I knew. They didn’t make real conversation so much as they suggested we go to their room. Really, did they think I would fall for their obvious lines? I credit booze for making them obnoxious.
Some of the men at the party were more creative. They asked me to join them in the hot tub. There were couples already in the hot, swirling water with all clothes removed. What kind of party was this? Not the usual sort of mixer. I am not into one night stands. When guys are fixated on one thing, and one thing only, you just don’t see their true nature. They could be nice in their daily lives, but they didn’t show much character. The mixer was like a big frat party five years later. I hated to admit it, but it was a bust and I was wasting my time. I think I am going to stick to regular dating, especially when the men are known to my friends. I always have decent luck when a fix-up happens. When I meet someone casually at a bar, things often don’t go well. But this mixer was the worst social experience I have had in a long time.