Month: February 2017

  • Being single saves money- You discover all kinds of savings when it is just you; you don’t use as many razors because you aren’t shaving your legs anymore; frozen dinners are excellent when there is no one to impress; shop at the Thrift Store for the faded jeans and sweatshirts that make up your wardrobe now.
  • People do stare at you when you sit alone in a restaurant, but if you carry a book, you don’t have to make eye contact. To avoid snickers at the movies, bring a man’s coat and drape it on the seat beside you. This also keeps creepy people from sitting next to you.
  • A cat is a better companion than a man. Your feline is faithful, sleeps on his side of the bed and is always happy to see you…even when you are an hour late.
  • Never let married friends fix you up. They don’t care if you are lonely, they are just envious you are free.
  • Never let your parents set you up they aren’t worried about the standard of the man they just want to make sure you don’t move back in with them.

To be perfectly candid, I have gone through some ups and downs since becoming suddenly single. There have been the crazy times and the lonely times. I do miss having a significant other in my life, but despite my diligent efforts, I just haven’t found that ultimate Mr. Right (there have been some Mr. Right Nows, but that’s a story for another day!) For some reason, people want other people to be coupled up. It just doesn’t seem “natural” for anyone to be alone and content. I have found that happy place, though. The best advice I can give is to make sure you like yourself…because wherever you go…there YOU are.

I love my job. I have the most considerate boss. He is always coming up with ideas to make the work environment better and to offer great perks. We already have the choice of flex hours and starting later in the day if we skip lunch. I appreciate the way he considers our busy schedules and individual needs. It is a great way to keep us happy and engaged. He knows how to avoid employee turnover. That is the bane of any bosses existence. You have to keep hiring new people and taking considerable time to train them.

The latest idea he had was to give us all a bonus incentive if we bike to work. He is definitely an environmentalist and talks all the time about dwindling energy resources. He promotes exploring for domestic gas and becoming less dependent on the Middle East. I have a commuter bike that I use to ride around the city, so this new gesture won’t go unheeded. I get out my rusty old machine and give it the once over. It needs some adjustments, an oiling, a polishing, and some TLC. I buy a rust remover and get the body back to its original shininess. It is now presentable enough to ride to work and even park it right out front.

I rode for a month until the weather turned nasty. I hated having raindrops pelt me in the face. My shoes were often wet and never really dried out during the workday. It is hard to pedal in clunky rubber boots. I was ready and willing to give up the bonus. I stuck it out a few extra days, not for the bonus, but to show the boss my compliance. At the end of a month, I abandoned my effort and returned the bike to its storage place in the garage. I had just bought a nice new lock and used the attached chain to secure it from prowlers and thieves. I was back to my car.

What is the best mode of transportation to work for you? We all have our preferences. Some of us live near a train station or bus stop and that dictates what we will do. Others can walk if they are lucky as it provides some daily exercise. Then there are the rest of us who want to drive for convenience. I have several miles ahead of me each morning and the car makes it in ten minutes. I get to work early enough to get the best parking spot. I have no reason to go back to the bicycle. I have my own incentives. I often run errands after work or visit family or a friend. I can go to the gym before dinner and grab some take-out food. In short, I need the car to help me organize my life and save time. I gave it the old college try with the bicycle but fell short of my goal. Others in the office got the bonus and bragged a lot about it. I kept quiet about my failure.

I hate it when the air is so dry that my lips crack. Mostly this is in winter, but it can happen any time. The climate in my city varies from humid to arid and there are spells of each all year long. I combat dryness with face lotion, hand cream, and lip balm. But I can do better to prevent uncomfortable skin. I don’t want to be slathering on oily moisturizers all day long. What to do about alligator skin. You know, the kind that shows a pattern of cracking. Help me!

The appliance gods came to the rescue. They suggested I get a good room size humidifier that will spew moisture into the air from the ample water tank. It holds a gallon and the mist it emits can last for hours. I am in a new apartment since a recent tortuous breakup and it has benefitted enormously from the humidifier. Sometimes it is cold inside in addition to being dry. When I use the heating system, it sucks moisture from the air. I gave in and bought the humidifier as soon as I heard about it. I read up and selected one that covered a lot of indoor square footage. It is a top brand and well-constructed so it should last a long time. It really does its job and I can put away and the creams and lotions. I use them now and then when I am outside in the dry winter air for a long time. But when I come home, I know that I will be comfortable and breathe easier. Your nasal passages dry out so easily and the humidifier gives them considerable relief.

I now live on my own and choosing to buy a humidifier was a very adult decision. It means that I am taking charge of my life once and for all. I am facing reality. I don’t need to depend on someone else. This doesn’t mean I won’t take tips and suggestions: don’t get me wrong. Everyone can use good advice. The person who told me about the humidifier gets a lot of credit for making my days and nights a lot easier. Thank you, my friend. When you are not in a relationship, you get lonely for sure; but you rely on family and old friends more and more. People have noticed my newfound independence. Since I am alone in the evening, I like to entertain all the time. I use the humidifier to make my space pleasant and people enjoy coming over. I bake and use the oven extensively but the heat doesn’t dry out the apartment. You have to be mindful of these things and find your own solutions. Buying the best humidifier on the market was my salvation.

Humidifiers come in all shapes and sizes from countertop models to free standing devices. This means that you have a lot of choice to suit your needs. You probably will make a decision based on the size of the water tank and how long you want to leave it on. Happy shopping.

I want to meet my soul mate so dating is my current pastime. So far I have had some pretty good times. Other times, I find that there is no meeting of the minds. I could write a guidebook for dating at this point in my life given my various amusing experiences. I know someday I will find the right person, but meanwhile there is no rush. I am still young and have a lot of time to settle down and start my real life. That’s how I think of it. For the time being I am in a no man’s land of trial and error.

It is a good sign if I accept a second date. I have had too many first dates, so it means that there is a connection if we go out again. It takes five dates in my opinion to know someone. Before that it is all guesswork. You get hints about personality and special interests, but you don’t know what is deep down inside. You hope to discover a person’s values as time goes on. When you finally see where they live and how they furnish their environment, you have made a lot of progress. I make assumptions all the time, however, that have to be corrected. I was on a second date recently and was invited to the guy’s house at the end of the evening. I was absolutely in awe of all the electronics around. I instantly labeled him a geek or a nerd. First I had to see how many computers existed.

What I saw first was a strange space age contraption sitting in the middle of the living room making odd whirring noises. It was plugged into the wall and a red light was visible showing that it was “on.” I had no idea what this odd gadget was doing, nor some of the other “appliances” around. I assumed that they had some specific function, but what I didn’t know. It turned after some questioning that my date like to control the air in his home. He had a humidifier that could emit steam, which he demonstrated shortly. He also had an ion machine and an air purifier so that pollutants and allergens could be removed daily. I asked him if he was that sensitive, and the answer was yes. These machines made it easier for him to breathe, especially when he was asleep. He particularly credited the air purifier for making him healthier. You should try it, he suggested.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to populate my house with a bunch of metallic beings but I was open to maybe one. Since I seldom felt dry in the nose and throat, I nixed the humidifier. I don’t like dampness in my midst. The air purifier, however, seemed a logical choice. I do have allergies now and then and do worry about airborne toxins. I keep the windows open for fresh air but it brings alien elements with it. I am glad that I learned something valuable while on a date.

I have been out of the dating world for quite a while pretty much my entire adult life. I wasn’t clueless, though, about the changes brought about by technology. I have had friends who were single and tried to find companions. There are parts, however, that I wasn’t prepared to handle. I have never had to worry about being alone on a Friday night or not having a date for a new movie I wanted to see. In fact, I have not had to be alone much at all. Now, I find myself in my brand new apartment, unpacked and staring blankly at the new pictures I had just hung on the walls. I had been caught up in moving and setting up my new place, and I haven’t had time to feel the solitude.

What now? How do I go about meeting some new men? Do people still go to bars to find dates? Should I ask my friends to “fix me up?” Somehow, these ideas seem outdated. I spy my computer and think about all the commercials I have seen touting impressive profiles and soul mates just waiting to be discovered. I will just take a look… I think to myself.

Online dating is a new world to me and it takes a few tries before I find the right one. There are sites for Lonely Farmers, Single Parents and even one for self-proclaimed Nerds. I decide to try a more commercial one, and I am soon involved in answering questions about my hobbies, exercise level, body size and favorite things. I am amazed at the degree of detail this questionnaire demands. Then, I am challenged to write an interesting, brief, witty synopsis of my life that will impress and draw in the men I want. It must be funny and original; welcoming without being needy and it has to stand out amongst a thousand other reads.

After many nail-biting hours of writes and re-writes- I finally have a profile that I think will charm any man. Now comes the real challenge-I must post profile pictures! These photos can make or break your dating life. As I look through some of the pictures of other profiles, I see everything from the duck face photos to the obligatory photo with your pet. I search my photos to find just the right ones. I want to look active and happy; fun but not trashy; successful but not too independent. These are crucial decisions that could impact my entire future.

I finally decided on two pictures and completed my profile. As I wait for it to be approved, I start glancing through the profiles of the men in my age range. There are many handsome guys show potential and my spirits lifted. This isn’t so hard, I think. I can do this. I can find Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now-depending on my mood; I decide with a big smile. Little did I know that the fun was just beginning.

One of the things I looked forward to the most, after becoming single, was a girl’s night out! I had heard tales of dancing on tables and groups going to male review shows. I envisioned a night of drinking, laughing and adventure. I planned such a night with some of my single friends. They were more experienced ones because I was the newest single there. We very responsibly picked a designated driver and rode together to a favorite club.

I must say that the excitement started on the ride over, but it wasn’t what I had expected. The drama came from two girls fussing and screaming because they both wore the same dress. I didn’t see the problem because the club would be dark but the fight was on. It got so crazy that the two girls got out at a stoplight and began wrestling around in the street. One of my best friends was driving and after telling them to get in…she just drove away…leaving the girls, in their identical dresses standing in the street.

Before I could react to that, we pulled up to the club. One of the other girls admonished us to keep her in the middle of the group when we went in because she had a fake id.

“What?” I asked.

“Yeah, she is only 18…don’t worry…we do this all the time.”

We walked as a mob to the front of the club, and several girls flashed their id and were allowed in. The underage girl was in front of me, and when she tried to flash her id, she dropped it. We both bent down to get it and bumped heads. I saw stars when the bouncer rejected the fake id.

“Not happening,” he growled.

“And you, you look like you are already drunk. Get lost!”

He was pointing at ME! Now, wait a minute…I started calmly… Get out of the way, he suggested loudly. So, now “underage” and I were left alone under a lamplight. I tried texting my friends inside the club but either the music was too loud, or they just ignored me.

We finally flagged down a taxi and when we got in…whom did we see but the twin friends left in the street? They were still arguing and pulling each other’s hair. I screamed my address to the driver and after 45 minutes of listening to the catfight… I got out at my apartment. Wow! What a great girls night out, I thought. I looked at my watch, and it was all of 10:00. I got into my pajamas, with warm milk and watched Netflix until I fell asleep. I couldn’t handle many crazy nights like that one!