Month: March 2017

Pretty much anything goes on a date. I love to dine out, see a movie, go for a walk in the park, or on a long bike ride. Once in a while we do something different such as have a picnic at the beach. If the weather permits, this is a great sunny day outing. But things don’t always go as planned. You hope for the best and have a contingency plan just in case. I say this because of the story I am about to tell.

My date and I were getting ready for the beach picnic we have been waiting for, but when we arrived it started to rain. Now that was unexpected. I guess we didn’t check the weather report ahead. It was nice at home when we left, so who would expect that the skies would darken. Not only did it start to rain, but it began to pour. We had a choice. We could run to the car and get soaked and go home, or we could stay under our giant beach umbrella and enjoy the clouds racing overhead. It was raining but not cold and we could even go into the water for a dip. It would not to cool off but to enjoy being among the diehards waiting on the sand. We enjoyed our lunch, which we managed to salvage since it was in the cooler and didn’t get wet. I was so glad that my date had a sense of humor about our bad luck and wanted to stay put. You can have fun no matter what the conditions are. The beach umbrella gets credit for saving the day. My date kept it in the car whenever a beach trip was imminent.

As the day wore on, the rain got lighter and pretty soon it stopped. We weren’t that wet since we had two large terry beach towels under us. The rain cooled the sand which usually burns our feet as we make our way to the water on a hot day. It did stick to our feet which made us laugh. We had to towel off when we got back to the car when it was time to go home. I hate it when grains of sand find their way in every nook and cranny of your car. It is hard to get out, even with a car vacuum. We shook out our towels and put them in the trunk. I have no doubt that hidden sand was in them. No matter. We had a great day just because we were together braving the elements. A rainy day is not my first choice for a beach trip, but we managed to get by. Remember the point of this blog. Take a big foldup umbrella whether you have rain or shine. It is an essential item for anyone who goes to the shore. It will protect you from getting a bad sunburn or from getting wet. Now that is what I call versatile.

This year was my first year going home for Thanksgiving as a single girl. I must admit that I did not put much thought into it being a different experience. After all, I was going to my parents’ house, so what could go wrong? I took the requested side dish of dressing and showed up a little early on Thanksgiving morning. After quick hugs all around, I offered to help my mother in the kitchen. We were busy with basting the turkey and setting the table. I noticed that my mother had included name place settings this year.

“Kind of fancy, don’t you think?” I teased her.

“Well, the family is getting so large with all of the dates and …” She put her hand up to her mouth in horror.

“It’s okay, Mom- I am not upset about being alone this year!” She just shook her head and went back to the kitchen.

Soon, relatives and friends began arriving to celebrate with us. My two brothers came with their girlfriends, and my uncle brought his new wife. Our crowd was growing, I thought. Soon, it was time for the big feast and I fixed my plate and headed into the dining room. I went from chair to chair, looking for my name. I could not find my place anywhere. Suddenly, my brother piped up,

“Sami-here you go!”

He was standing in the kitchen at the “kid’s table.” I walked over and soon spied my name.

“Mom!”

“Well, honey, there just wasn’t a single chair left at the big table. Do you mind?”

Did I mind? Of course, I minded, I did not want to eat Thanksgiving dinner with all of the sticky toddlers and smirking teenagers!

“No, I don’t mind,” I grumbled.

I tried to sit, but the table was too short for me to get my legs under it. So, I balanced my plate and ate a sullen meal.

After the meal was finally over, everyone went into the den to watch football and talk. I looked around and soon discovered that there was again nowhere for me to sit. All the couples were wrapped around each other and taking up space. I started to try and scrunch in between, but then I saw my younger cousins outside playing football. What the heck, I thought and I went outside and played until dark. We chose teams, and I got to be the quarterback since I was the oldest. It was supposed to be flag football, but I saw some of my young relatives get hammered more than once. All in all, it was a memorable Thanksgiving.

So, in conclusion, you could say that holidays are different when you are single, but on the bright side, I caught up on all the new teenage slang and made two remarkable touchdowns! How many of you can say that about YOUR holidays??

I had a long-term relationship, but it’s over. I am regrouping and trying to move on. We lived together in an apartment while together and eventually became engaged. For someone who dated regularly, it meant that I had at last settled down. I am at that age when major milestones happen and the future begins to form. Images of married life populated my dreams. Now that I am moving so I don’t have to live with memories, I need to go through my stuff. He took most of his things all at one time, clearing out the closets and cupboards. At first, the apartment seemed very empty with only my absent voice piercing the silence. In other words, it was quiet and lonely. I know that a good relationship awaits me out there and that I will find someone to love. Meanwhile I will resume dating on a regular basis as I had before.

Objects bring back memories as you can imagine. I had a rush of them when in cleaning out some boxes left in the closet I found an old automatic watch that belonged to my former fiancé. At first it was painful to see it as he used to wear it every day. I remember that finally it stopped working and he cast it aside. I don’t know why he didn’t get it repaired although I made the suggestion. I never saw him sporting a new watch. I suppose it was going to happen, but then we broke up. Now I am looking at my past in the face. I debated with myself over what to do with it. The first thought, of course, was to call him and return it. I hesitated before I would go that route. Frankly, I was not anxious to hear his voice or get into an argument as to whether he would come get it or I would bring it over. The easiest thing would be to just get rid of it. It was no moral dilemma as it didn’t work. I knew that it was reparable and would last a long time if he took it to a watch repair shop. On the other hand, maybe he is wearing the latest men’s automatic watch by now. There are all kinds of new models with upgraded bells and whistles. I simply didn’t want to call him and ask.

I sat around wondering what to do for a few days and then I called. He was pleased to get the watch back and we agreed to meet at a local café. We had a nice conversation before I turned it over and ended up leaving as friends. I wasn’t sorry about this turn of events. I would no longer worry about running into him with another woman and becoming embarrassed. After all, we had spent a lot of time together and had a lot in common. We could go to a movie or have a meal and not call it a date. A lot of exes find that this is a workable situation. Why not me?

I am at that age, in my mid-twenties, when I think a lot about dating. Many women are married and have two kids by now—a boy and a girl, the ideal American family. I am enjoying my life as a single girl, but some dates are more satisfying than others. When you don’t connect with someone after an entire evening together, you feel like you have just wasted your time. After a series of dates that went nowhere, I decided to attend a single’s mixer at a nearby hotel. I heard about it from friends and thought it would be the right crowd. I can’t ever be too sure in advance about what will happen, but you have to take chances now and then. I dressed casually, not knowing what else to do, and put on makeup after I fixed my hair. I looked my best in the hopes of attracting the nicest men. Some guys are so one dimensional and like super short skirts and tank tops. In other words, clothes that are very revealing. I don’t go that route.

I got to the mixer alone as my friend cancelled at the last minute. I prefer to have someone along just in case I want to go home early. We can always salvage a dull evening with a few drinks and snacks. The hotel was nice enough and the party was outside in the back on a patio near a large hot tub for 4 people. As expected, I started with a drink to relax. Some men approached me to talk, but they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. I wasn’t used to this kind of forward behavior. Most guys I date are more polite. This group was about my age and they could be businessmen, doctors, or lawyers for all I knew. They didn’t make real conversation so much as they suggested we go to their room. Really, did they think I would fall for their obvious lines? I credit booze for making them obnoxious.

Some of the men at the party were more creative. They asked me to join them in the hot tub. There were couples already in the hot, swirling water with all clothes removed. What kind of party was this? Not the usual sort of mixer. I am not into one night stands. When guys are fixated on one thing, and one thing only, you just don’t see their true nature. They could be nice in their daily lives, but they didn’t show much character. The mixer was like a big frat party five years later. I hated to admit it, but it was a bust and I was wasting my time. I think I am going to stick to regular dating, especially when the men are known to my friends. I always have decent luck when a fix-up happens. When I meet someone casually at a bar, things often don’t go well. But this mixer was the worst social experience I have had in a long time.